There was a small dream the night before. I was on a strange block with ongoing houses. I tried to write my feelings down in my journal, on being alone at that moment, staring into the emptiness of the night under what seemed to be the beginning of sunset and the softening of the day’s humidity. But then, I saw a darkness at the end of the block, so immense and infinite that it overwhelmed me. I went inside my house, almost thinking it was a sanctuary. I found you organizing clothes and unpacking, and you started telling me about your high school days, and my thoughts moved to how different your experience was compared to mine.
This is how I feel upon entering the kitchen. There was a giant roach staring at me from the wall, high up near the ceiling. It’s waiting there, waiting for the right moment to strike. One morning I entered the kitchen to find this awful roach. I quickly left after cleaning the crumbs and retreating to the living room. I came back shortly after to check if it was still there.
And it had moved a few inches, so I knew it was alive.
Needless to say I had all my meals either in the living room or outside. I can’t reach it with a broom. We have high ceilings and even with a chair it would be difficult to kill. I’m thinking, it can either fall on me or on the kitchen counter then run with its little legs down the sink.
I put away our clean dishes in case it decides to climb down. We usually keep the apartment clean, but there’s always one roach appearing every now and then. At least we don’t have to deal with the swarms of little ones, but we get the big ones with giant antennas or as my roommates call them, “antelope roaches.” You could be going about your day all chipper and fancy, but you turn on the lights, and one is suddenly on the kitchen floor, and you stay frozen then slowly retreat to your room where it can’t get you. Sometimes I hear my roommates stomping their feet and screaming when they find one in the living room.
The other day I was having a fun Saturday afternoon, learning swing dance, drinking a lemonade, walking around, and buying Cajun food. I went home and walked to the bathroom and I saw an upside down dead roach or nearly dying, in the bathtub. Since it was too big to go down the drain, I used a broom and a dustpan to chuck it in the garbage.
My chipper, fancy day was over.